there is hope...

For the first time after almost two weeks, the sun has shone.

The southwest monsoon has hit my beloved country with violent rains that most part of Luzon became submerged in floods. It was almost a repeat of Typhoon Ondoy in 2009.

But this afternoon, the sun peeped through the dark clouds. As if saying, "Hello, you may not always see me, but I am always here..."

It made me think about and realize one thing. That there is hope. Always.

And like the sun finally shining, I will be, too.

part 4: what happened to me?

What ever happened to me? I got busy. Period. Forgive me, please (eyes ala Puss in Boots)!

It will be hard for me to back track from May of last year up to present, but I will be trying my best to recall the best moments of year 2011.

1. I received a lot of birthday greetings last year, I think I have received more than a hundred from Facebook alone! Rian had a fever, so aside from having Kool-Fever sticked to his forehead, nothing was extraordinary. I got a nice gift from Irvin, though - a Merrell sandals!

happy birthday, nanay!

2. Summer outing at Tanza Oasis!

3. Family day at Tagaytay :)

4. Rian's 1st Birthday! From sesame seed to a little boy, my baby is growing up so fast. From a helpless infant to a dancing toddler during his birthday, I still can't believe that this little brat brought me pain, but even more joy!

happy birthday, baby!

We had the birthday party a day after his birthday. Suppliers include: Max's Restaurant for the food, venue, party needs; Leyo, Rian's ninong, for the ticket invite and souvenir magnet layout; Jorene, a colleague, for the ticket invites and souvenir magnet; and K Snaps by Kathy for the photo coverage. Our matching Ferrari shirts are from Divilandia :) and our matching Converse Chuck Taylor are from SM hehehe! Mine and Irvin's Chucks have been with us for, I think, five years already. Rian's Chucks is a gift from Nanay, Lola Norma.

photos by K Snaps

5. Leng's balikbayan! Sonya's Garden + Army Navy = happiness!

i love these girls!

a note to myself

I've been wanting...okay, that was an understatement...I've been desperately wanting to write. Write something, write anything, I tell myself. But I don't know, I just can't find the time to do it.

Of course I won't find time to write while at the office. My default status is busy and that holds true. True that I have sneaked some time to browse the web but it's mainly to check my personal mail and transfer funds or pay bills via BPI Express Online.

At home, I spend most of my time with Rian, scribbling with him and pointing to picture board books and singing with Steve and Blue or dancing with Barney. If he seems too busy to throw me a glance, I'd open my Facebook account to upload photos for my parents and my sister's family to see. Or read a book. Or watch a basketball game with Irvin.

Of hurried meals and missed night prayers, how can I find time to write?

But I realized, I am a writer, not only of this blog, but of the script of my life. I am THE writer and the best part of this is I get to choose what happens to me. So for now, yes that I do not like not being able to write a decent blog post because of work and of being a mom. But one day, I will be able to pick myself up, make a little spare time and gear up to my plans.

salamat tatay at nanay!

Nasa Tagaytay kami nang matanggap nyo ang mahiwagang envelope. Luha ni Tatay ang sumalubong sa akin pag-uwi ko. Hindi ko alam kung good o bad news ba ang pagkaka-approve sa visa nyo. Ang alam ko lang noon, excited ako para sa inyo at sa mga ipapadala kay Ate. May takot at lungkot pero hindi ko muna inintindi.


Ngayon, magdadalawang buwan na ang nakalipas mula ng lumipad kayo papuntang Canada, naaalala ko pa ang pag-aasikaso ko ng passport, visa, plane ticket at bagahe nyo. DFA, Canadian Embassy, SM, Divisoria. Naaalala ko pa ang mga baon nyo. Naalala ko pa ang sulat na ginawa ko para masamahan kayo hanggang sa pag-check-in sa airport. Naaalala ko pa ang mga habilin nyo.


At naaalala ko pa ang sinabi ni Nanay bago umalis sa bahay, "Hindi ko alam kung tama ang gagawin namin..." sabay tulo ng luha.


Masyado pang maaga, pero para sa akin, kung para sa ikabubuti ng anak, walang gagawing mali ang magulang.


Apat na taon na ang nakalipas mula ng umalis sila Ate. Tatlo na ang anak nya noon, pero nasa tiyan pa niya ang isa. Tatlong taon ang panganay nya at anim na buwan ang sumunod. Ngayon, muli kayong nagkita-kita. Nai-imagine ko, puno na ang iyakan at tawanan sa airport nang salubungin nyo sila.


Ako, ilang gabing umiiyak bago at pagkatapos nyong umalis. Maraming pagkakataon na iniisip ko na sana boses ulit ni Tatay ang nagpapatulog kay Rian o kamay ni Nanay ang nagpapaligo kay Rian, na sana si Tatay ang naglilinis ng bahay o si Nanay ang nagluluto, na sana pwede pa akong matulog ng mas matagal o mag-ubos ng oras sa pag-i-internet.



Pero siyempre, tuloy ang buhay, move on lang ng move on. Hanggang sa...


Ngayon, Tatay at Nanay, nagpapasalamat ako dahil iniwan nyo ako.


Dahil kung hindi nyo ako iniwan, hindi magiging exciting ang bawat Sabado morning ko. Dahil kaming dalawa lang ni Rian ang magkasama, kailangan kong maghanda ng almusal ni Irvin, makisayaw kay Rian sa Hi-5, patulugin si Rian para sa kanyang morning nap, makisayaw kay Rian sa Showtime at maghanda ng disenteng tanghalian.


Dahil kung hindi nyo ako iniwan, hindi ako matututong mag-research ng recipes, mag-grocery, ma-pressure habang nasa harap ng kalan, magluto ng chicken fillet in garlic cream sauce, pork bistek, beef mechado at beef with mushroom. At higit sa lahat, hindi masasabi sa akin ni Irvin na, "Masarap ka palang magluto!"


Dahil kung hindi nyo ako iniwan, hindi ko matututuhang maging independent kahit dalawang araw lang sa loob ng isang linggo.


Dahil kung hindi nyo ako iniwan, kahati ko kayo sa oras ni Rian. Ngayon solong-solo ko siya, hehehe!


Alam ko na ang dahilan ng pag-alis nyo ay para sa ikabubuti ni Ate, pero hindi sinasadya, para sa ikabubuti ko din pala.

Dahil higit sa pagiging anak, magulang din ako...na ngayon ay ramdam na ramdam ko.

photo journal: gold

part 3: what happened to me?

Gosh, it has been ages since my last post. In fact, my baby has not crossed the 1-year old mark when I wrote a post on Father's Day. Now, he's 4 months over that mark! (And still very charming :)!)

7. We celebrated Ate Sette's birthday at Nuvali, Sta. Rosa, Laguna last March 26. Late lunch at Conti's, fish feeding, and boating. Passed by Paseo de Sta. Rosa and made a stop at Giligan's Summit Ridge in Tagaytay for dinner.

all boys

waiting to be seated

rian's menu

busog!

day-off :)

boating!

plakda na ang hyper.

8. We celebrated Nanay's April 1 birthday last April 3 at Tagaytay :)


they also celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary last April 14!

9. Meet-up with my Chevron friends last May 30. Thai food + dessert! Indeed, food is one of our friendship's foundation.



at jatujak

happy father's day!

Totoo pala na kapag naging magulang ka, mas pahahalagahan mo ang mga magulang mo.

Sa pinakadakilang ama na nagsunog ng kilay at nagsikap maibigay sa mga anak ang mga bagay na hindi siya nagkaroon.

Sa pinakadakilang lolo na sa halip na magpahinga ay nag-aalaga ng apo para makatulong sa anak.

Maligayang Araw ng mga Ama, Tatay. Sana po alam nyo kung gaano ko pinahahalagahan ang lahat ng sakripisyo nyo para sa amin.