photo journal: starbucks moment

happy mother's day!

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty (A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Lately, my posts have been all about me being a mother. But behind my mother role is an equally important character...a daughter.

Nanay, thank you for the life and the sacrifices you have to make to help me be who I am today. I am so proud to be your daughter.



part 1: what happened to me?

It has been a while since my last decent post. I must say I missed blogging too. There has been a lot going on in my life now, and about 90% of my time is attributed to work and motherhood. I wanted to share so much of my experiences, happy and sad, but I just don't have the time.

No, I'm not ranting. Work gives me financial stability. And motherhood, it gives me the strength to fight life's daily battles. You know, at times, I wanted to quit my job and pursue my other dreams but I guess it's maternal instinct that says "Stop. Stay." I am not willing to sacrifice instability, at least not yet.

So, what really happened to me in the past few months of not blogging?

1. My good friend Agnes got married last December! Although our friend Sarah was not able to return to Philippines and attend her wedding, it was still good to have Mhay and Leng with us. I was not part of the entourage, but I was the commentator during the nuptial mass.

me and irvin

another one said "i do!"

Congratulations, Agnes and Tristan!

2. My first Christmas with my new work.

finance christmas party

finance exchange gift

ad christmas party

3. Meet-up with balikbayan friends. Mhay and Leng went home in time for Agnes' wedding and the Christmas season :)

dinner @ malens

mhay's signature wacky pose

AMA_E

rian meets titas!

a letter to rian

April 23, 2011

Dear Rian,

As I watch you sleep, reality sets in. You have grown so big that my arms get stiff when carrying you for a few minutes. You used to be the size of a sesame seed inside my belly. You were 3.5 kilograms when you entered the world, but now you are nearing 9. The smallest shirts used to hang in your tiny body, but now you are already size 4. Time flies really fast.


Before, I could leave you for a few minutes knowing you’ll be safe being sandwiched by two small bolsters. Now I could not leave you for a split second because before I know it, you have already gone from the center to the edge of the bed.


You have grown, and so is your world.


Tatay and I used to be your world. But now you have Lolo Ely and Lola Norma, Lolo Rey and Lola Tess, Tita Ninang and Tito Ninongs, Ate Kishie, and a whole lot more people on the street, in the neighbourhood. They are all trying to get your attention and your sweet smile.


Lolo Ely always says you are luckiest kid because you are loved by so many people. As I see it, it’s so true.


But sometimes I feel hurt when you would rather be picked up by someone else other than me. Sometimes I feel hurt when other people can make you laugh when I can’t. Sometimes I cry when I can’t offer you the comfort you need.


And then reality bites. Your world has expanded and you need to be loved by others, too.


I feel guilty because for a moment, I have been selfish.


Like Tatay discovering his newfound interest with his bike, travelling to places where I can’t go and bonding with new friends, you will be like him one day. You will discover the big world you’re in. You will learn about games and nursery rhymes. You will look for playmates and peers.

I can’t give you all the happiness you need. At times, you will be on your own. And I have to let you go.


Just like a mother eagle teaching baby eagle to fly, I need to prepare your wings so that you could soar up in the sky. By then, you will see me smiling, perhaps with a few tears of joy.


I know it’s way too early to be thinking about this now. You have just started standing on your own. You have just started babbling and saying things only you can understand. But as I said, time flies really fast. You’ll be all grown up one day, ready to be circumcised and ashamed to be kissed by me in front of your friends. I am taking this chance to tell you things as serious as this.


I love you, my forever baby. When things get tough for me, I always think about your rare smile and everything seem to be falling into place again.


Love,
Nanay

P.S. Here's a picture of us taken during Tita Ninang's birthday celebration. You are about 9 months and you are absolutely charming.

father and son

This is my favorite father-and-son picture of Irvin and Rian. So cute! Are they talking about me? :)

new year, new profile

Surprise, surprise! I'm alive! (I think I'll explain my absence when I have more time to write a more decent entry.)

Noticed? I've trashed my old profile and created a short one. Well, it's not that the former is no longer applicable, everything detail still applies! I just felt I needed to simplify it.

So I'm saying goodbye to my 3-year old narrative...

"i am a part of generation y, having the same birthday as nora aunor and julie vega. my parents waited for 11 years to see their 1st born, my ate eli, who is currently residing in canada with her family. 77 months after, i was born. i had been a "straight" student when i was schooling. i met the "man in my future" during my college days. my shoe size is 7 and my vital statistics are never mind. i love being in the water even if i do not know how to swim. i enjoy videoke. i like dark chocolate and truffles. i believe i am not kikay, vain nor OC. my soulmate is my mother. even if i have been working in makati for 4 years, i still am very probinsiyana. i like weekends. i cry and laugh a lot. i think, my husband is the most adorable person in the world. i always try to look at the brighter side of life. i think, my friends consider me a clown more than a friend. above all, i am an affectionate daughter, a concerned sister and tita, a loyal friend and a thoughtful wife. at the left of my monitor is a simple reminder: life is beautiful. dance like no one is watching. love like you will never get hurt. sing like no one is listening. live like it’s heaven on earth. enjoy this day."

goodbye 2010

It's been a while since my last post. And you know what, sometimes I wonder if I would ever get back to writing again.

Obviously, writing (or in this case, blogging) has to take a backseat when I gave birth six months ago.

I planned to have a year-end goodbye note but motherhood and employment barred me from writing a decent entry. And so here I am now, blogging at 2 AM of January 1 while patting Rian in between paragraphs.

2010 is a wonderful year for me because halfway through the year, God sent me an angel named Rian. But His sending has a twist, because instead of this angel watching over me, it becomes the other way around :)

One of the biggest realizations I made this year is that giving birth does not make one a mother. Motherhood springs from the sacrifices, big or small, that one undertakes to prepare her child for physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

But while 2010 had been wonderful to me, I will not deny that this is also one of the roughest years I had. I bedrested in January because of early contractions. My father suffered from mild stroke in April. Rian was hospitalized for a week when he was only one-week old. I resigned from my work in Makati and transferred to Cavite in September. With these are the pressures of my new work and the demands of motherhood.

I was physically exhausted, emotionally stressed and financially challenged.

And that is why I am so looking forward to 2011. New year, new hope. Better attitude, better life.

2010, a year that was. Happy moments I will always cherish - out-of-towns, meeting up with old friends and making new ones, "everyday is a family day" policy. Sad moments I will always remember. And you might probably wonder why. Well, sad moments help me reminisce the lessons of the past and make me grateful for what I have right now.

So there, I am officially bidding 2010 goodbye, with a wide smile on my face.