melodic midweek

Luther Vandross - Dance With My Father

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me
And then spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me and I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again
When I and my mother would disagree to get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep, he left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again
Sometimes I’d listen outside her door and I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me, I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much but could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually but dear Lord, she’s dying to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream

the weekend that was aug 23-25

I started Saturday early. 8:30 AM pa lang, namalantsa na ko until afternoon. Irvin and I took a nap, then prepared for going home at Tanza right after dinner. But then the rain held us up for a couple of hours, and we left. I spent the night in front of my computer, customizing my blogsite, playing with Kishie and watching a GMA documentary, "Batang Kalabaw."

It's just the usual Sunday with the Estacions - food and TV. But that morning, aba nasa reminiscing mode 'ata kami! We ran through some of his memorable things like cards from friends and exes, but mostly from me (who else?!). I did not read all of them, it might take me a whole week to finish it. I just browsed through them, laughed and joked around.

Later that evening, Irvin and I went to Tagaytay for a date, nax! There's nothing to celebrate, really. We just want to spend some time off with our families and have quality time. It's already late so we just ate at Teriyaki Boy and had coffee at Starbucks. We saw there Panky, a 1st season PDA scholar. (Sayang, sana andun din si Jay-R, hehehe!) Irvin dropped me off at my parents since I need to be up early the next morning.

Notice my Mi Amore, laging pa-cute. Ako cute na lagi, hahaha!

Today, Monday, is Mama Jun's 40 days. Nanay and I left the house at around 5 AM to attend a mass at 6 AM. Antok na antok ako habang nasa biyahe. We arrived in Naic just in time for the mass. After, I helped with preparing the pancit luglog to be distributed to relatives. Irvin picked me up before lunch, dropped me off at my parents (I am telling you, nakakapagod ang madaming bahay!) to wash Irvin's underwear, laughed out with Tatay over Wowowee. Irvin picked me up again, with Kishie, to go to SM along with Nana, Enald and Ate Sette.

Ayan ang long weekend ko. Long na, bitin pa!

lex kulet 5

Pinalo ni Daddy si Clyron…
Lex: Daddy, wag mo palo si Kayon! Baby pa siya, di pa nya alam 'yun!

oo nga naman, si daddy talaga oh! buti pa si lex, bata pa lang may alam na sa child psychology.

~ * ~

Naghahanda si Mommy ng baon nya…
Lex: Kaninong baon yan?
Mommy: Sa akin.
Lex: 'Pag di mo ubos yan, palo kita!

perfect example ng "ang ginagawa ng matatanda, ginagaya ng mga bata."

~ * ~

After ilang months ng pagkupkop ni Ate Irene sa mag-anak nila, lumipat na ng bahay ang Hernandez family. Kinabukasan, paggising...
Lex: Mommy, babalik na ba tayo sa Church Avenue? (dito nakatira sila Ate Irene)
Mommy: Hindi na tayo babalik dun, Lex. Dito na tayo nakatira.
Lex: Baket? Pinalayas na tayo ni Mama Irene?

tama ka, lex! pinalayas nga kayo, bawal na daw ang batang makulit at matakaw kila mama irene...

divi swarovski

Ang cute-cute oh!

the weekend that was aug 16-18

Maaga akong gumising dahil pupunta kami ng aking friendship Agnes sa Divisoria, ang lupain ng murang bilihin at mga kargador na hubad-barong nakikipagkiskisan ng balat sa mga tao. Inagahan na namin dahil Sabado at kasusuweldo lang ng mga tao. (Baka feel nilang maglustay ng datung, di ba?) On time sana ako, kaso kailangan ko pang pag-ibigin ng tubig si Irvin dahil naging kulay iced tea ung lumalabas sa gripo. Ayun, late na naman tuloy ako. (Excuses!)

Okey naman papunta, the usual eksena - baha, traffic, vendors. Enjoy naman kami ni Agnes dahil sa mura ng bilihin, kahit pampasko bumili na kami. Nakabili ako ng Swarovski earrings, Hello Kitty bag (for me or panregalo?), scrapbooking materials (para sa album ng mga pamangkin ko na kahit malayo sila sa akin e ako pa din ang pinapahirapan ng nanay nila…hehe, peace Ate!), fruits at photo frame (para sa tatay kong pogi) and some kiddie stuff for Kishie. Si Agnes, madami din siyempre (yun pah!). Buti na lang at nakisama ang panahon, nasa bus na kami pauwi nung pumatak ang ulan.

Sinalubong ako ni Irvin sa Noveleta, then umuwi sa amin kung saan natataranta ang nanay ko kahahanap sa pinsan ko na hindi pa umuuwi ng bahay. Pinapagalitan ko na nga e, worry ng worry. Later that day, nalaman kong nakauwi na ang pinsan ko sa bahay at ayos na din ang nanay ko (haaaay!). Siyempre pa, long weekend kaya naman pumunta kami sa Lotus Mall para…ooops, secret! Basta! SM Bacoor, after. Watched Black Hawk Down with the boys.

Okey lang ang Sunday ko, sinisimulan ng gawin ang kabilang bahay nila Irvin kaya hapon na nya ako nahatid sa amin. Doon ako matutulog.

Home is where the heart is. Tama nga. Malungkot pa din ako, I doubt kung madali akong makaka-recover pero I wish I can be the same old me again.

Game 6, Ginebra ang nanalo kaya naman 3-3 na ang standing against Air 21. Ginebra fan ako, but my loyalty lies with Irvin, so Air 21 na din ako hehehe!

Alone again, naturally.

Monday is a holiday, in lieu of August 21, Ninoy Aquino's death anniversary. Dahil dito, naka-attend kami ng birthday party ni Goen sa Jollibee Noveleta. Yipee!

…I'm gonna dry my eyes, right after I get my one last cry…

the (un)forgettable song

It is not my habit to put on my obsolete iPod whenever the radio is on. I want undivided concentration, I don't want to listen to two songs at a time.

But last night is different, as soon as I got on the shuttle service and heard the song being played, I grabbed my iPod, turned it on and increased the volume. The rock song in my iPod drowned the mellow song on the radio. Good.

Just when I believe I am done with the forgive-and-forget thing, something reminded me that I am not. Forgive? Yes. Forget? No. But let me tell you, not forgetting does not mean not moving on. What I am saying is that bad memories have a way of getting out of the to-forget box when a thing of the past goes on cue. As the cliché goes, past is past. I have moved on. But I have not forgotten.

A few years back, I must admit I was selfish. I do not want to share the precious things I have to anyone else. That selfishness shattered the glass I was holding, it hurt my hands and I bled. And someone came with a first aid kit, stopped the bleeding and kissed the pain. After quite some time, all that is left is a scar. That scar serves as a faithful reminder that I have been hurt and I have been saved.

Yet, I am not ready to sing that song.

angel in despair

I used to be an angel personified. I was someone who radiates happiness, whose kind words would always echo to someone's ears. I was smiling all the time, even at strangers. People sought my presence for some enjoyable conversation. I was someone who is willing to extend help to anyone who needs it. I was a shallow person, laughing at silly questions and petty jokes.

But not anymore. Happiness has eluded me for quite some time now.

I feel it and I hate it. It is as though hundreds of Dementors have gone from Azkaban to snatch the bliss out of me. And I am now empty, drained and miserable.

The heartbroken angel appears dejected with head down, halo in hand, tattered gown and steady wings. It never crossed my mind that an angel might need rest sometimes. I never thought one could get tired of happiness.

In the comfort of darkness, I seek pleasure. In my barren world, I look for hope. Amidst tears, I begged for happiness. I uttered silent words, some half prayers. And I wanted to shout and to cry out loud, wishing some mortal would hear me and comfort my desolate soul.

Maybe, just maybe, that one of these days, the angel in me would come to life - with wings spanned and flapping, with halo round and glistening, with face raised and smiling.