no regrets

10 million fans. Only 100,000 will witness.

This is the tagline of Eraserhead's concert "The Final Set", the part two, and as Ely said, the last, of their reunion.

Eraserheads was 1990's most prominent band and for me, they were the ones who started the invasion of most rock bands of their time, giving a new sound to Pinoy rock. I was in highschool then, and just like most girls who giggles at the sight of their crushes, I was addicted to Ely and Eraserheads. I loved listening to their music (thanks to my sister for buying their albums), I loved buying songbooks, scribbling Ely's name on my notes. Yeah, very highschool-ish.

I love them. I am among the 10 million fans, which also includes my sister, my husband and a lot of friends.

And I was supposed to be among the 100,000 who will witness their final gig set last night, Saturday.

I had spotting since last Thursday, I was worried and much to my sadness, I backed out Friday night and told my good friend Agnes to sell my and my husband's tickets.

Saturday afternoon, I underwent trans-v ultrasound and found out that my baby has no heartbeat yet. It's not easy to receive news like that, you know. I mean, how can that happen? All this time, I thought I am perfectly carrying my baby well. Well, maybe it's just too early, or maybe baby is still too small to have his heartbeat be detected. I will be undergoing the same procedure again next week. And I am thinking positive, his heartbeat will be detected by that machine.

Saturday night until Sunday morning, I just rested, watched TV and ate. Agnes and I are currently exchanging text messages about the concert last night. Sigh.

No regrets, baby, just be okay.