the (un)forgettable song

It is not my habit to put on my obsolete iPod whenever the radio is on. I want undivided concentration, I don't want to listen to two songs at a time.

But last night is different, as soon as I got on the shuttle service and heard the song being played, I grabbed my iPod, turned it on and increased the volume. The rock song in my iPod drowned the mellow song on the radio. Good.

Just when I believe I am done with the forgive-and-forget thing, something reminded me that I am not. Forgive? Yes. Forget? No. But let me tell you, not forgetting does not mean not moving on. What I am saying is that bad memories have a way of getting out of the to-forget box when a thing of the past goes on cue. As the cliché goes, past is past. I have moved on. But I have not forgotten.

A few years back, I must admit I was selfish. I do not want to share the precious things I have to anyone else. That selfishness shattered the glass I was holding, it hurt my hands and I bled. And someone came with a first aid kit, stopped the bleeding and kissed the pain. After quite some time, all that is left is a scar. That scar serves as a faithful reminder that I have been hurt and I have been saved.

Yet, I am not ready to sing that song.