and i love you...bestfriend

We have been calling each other "bestfriend" for years. We share secrets, problems and solutions, defeat and triumphs, ups and downs. We're sometimes mistaken as lovers because of such closeness but we don't care about such rumours. There were even times, I remember, we thought that it was you and me against the world.

That is why we call each other "bestfriend" right? We gave each other a friendship that we could treasure for the rest of our lives. We both know that our friendship knows no boundaries and no limits. We endured trials and battles that tried to ruin our friendship. No storm would come and no walls could be built between us.

I remember, one time, I was sitting alone underneath a tree, you came and told me your deepest feelings. You said you love me more than a friend. And you want me to share a life with you. You said we're going to have a relationship far more joyful than friendship. You said we'll be going to a place where no one would judge us and we'll live happily ever after.

Enough for my imagination.

I have learned to accept the fact that there's no love existing between us except that of a friend. You started to tell me about the girl you fell in love with. You can't help but smile upon mentioning her name. You tell me how beautiful and gorgeous she is, how sweet she is. You tell me, word for word, your conversation with her. You tell me everything about her.

I listened with no judgement, no criticism, no opposing remarks. Everytime you tell me about the girl, it strikes me through the heart. But there's nothing I could do. So I just gave my sweetest smile and gave you words of encouragement to at least make you happy.

But I must admit that there are times when I feel your love around me. You even said we're "secret lovers." But at my present stage of confusion, I'd rather say we are friends than lovers.

And I would like to thank you for your deep down friendship and for everything in between. I do not expect anything from you except your friendship. You have taught me what I ought to know about life. I know that someday, somewhere, people and circumstances would understand us.

And I love you, bestfriend.

:: Published, The Crosier (Official Schol/Community Publication of Saint Augustine School), January-March 1998 ::

(FYI: This is an old material which I have written when I was in high school.)